Creatures of habit

We are all, are we not, creatures of habit.

From earliest development when our mothers suckled us at their breasts, through our aging into adults, we find comfort in the familiar. "Stretching your comfort zone" always meant moving into uncharted, therefore uncomfortable territory.

As the parent of two pre-schoolers and a first-grader, the importance of routine guides much of what we do. Disrupt an expected pattern and suffer the wrath of your own ill-wrought consequences!

My thoughts, as of late, have been meandering around the idea of behavior modification. We're not talking brainwashing here. Not the malodorous reek of twistedly torturing another to bend them to one's will. Nothing like that. What I have in mind falls more within the realm of pleasantly mindful and behaving children, brought to this state by an organized and methodical approach to guide them toward the behaviors that you wish them to perform, and moving away from those behaviors that you wish to see less often (or not at all).

Reading an airline magazine prompted these musings initially; an article on a Sea World trainer discussing the training of killer whales. One particular statement leapt out at me: "You don't want to antagonize an 8,000 pound killer whale".

I don't want to antagonize my children either. I don't want to alienate them from their mother or me. We daily read of accounts of crime, oftentimes violent. How much of this behavior stems from developmental wrong turns taken. From poor choices in trying to "improve" behavior at an early age. Little Johnnie's misbehaving? Yell at him. That doesn't work? Hit him. That doesn't work? Bind him and gag him and put him in a closet. These things, people do. Raising antagonized 8,000 pound killer whales.

We are guilty of occasionally raising our voices at our children. (Doesn't that sound better than "yelling at them"?) We do not hit our children, or worse. We wish for our children what most parents wish for: a good life. A life of meaning, and contribution to society. Are there better ways of trying to achieve peace at bedtime than what we are currently doing? Yes. Are there better ways of coaxing the desired response and managing future behavior? Yes. Do we know what they are? Not yet.

But. (There's always a "but", isn't there?) We can learn from those that know. We can read, and talk to people, and view information that will guide us to where we need to be. I am a believer in life-long learning. I am not a real believer in schools. Let me clarify that thought. I am not a real believer in the idea that schools will provide a meaningful education. (I know someone with a masters degree whose spelling is atrocious.) I do, however, believe in the idea that schools provide an excellent foundation for a life of learning. And we can continue to build on that foundation to create a sound, strong, and roundly educated being.

Wow. Can I get "out there" quickly, or what?

I don't know if you saw that coming, but I sure didn't.

You know that I think tangentially. And when I write, it gives me the opportunity to explore those thoughts, revisit them, and wrap things up cute as can be. I was just going to write about eating tuna every day for lunch (Creatures of habit). Eating tuna every day for lunch doesn't seem to be nearly as interesting as behavior modification though, so I think I'll leave that part in.