Things that I don't understand

Yes.

I know.

There are so many.

So many.

But sometimes, I just can't help but ponder one. And it just doesn't really make sense to me. So I must blog about it. Perhaps one of my eight or so blog readers can make some sense of this for me.

The American Midwest. Occasionally called middle America. Sometimes referred to as America's heartland.

Did you know that the Midwest is actually one of four regions recognized by the United States Census Bureau? There it is, right along with the Northeastern, Southern and Western regions. With its official designation, one might think that it actually resided in the middle western portion of the United States, wouldn't one? I mean, that would be a reasonable assumption, wouldn't it? Southern states are in the South. Western states, the West. Northeastern states... you get the idea.

I've been in the midwest for four days now, and have been in three states. I started out in Minnesota on Sunday, then down to Wisconsin, and now over to Illinois. You know... the state where the Governor just got kicked out of office today? In any case, as I was training a group of sales consultants on Tuesday in Madison, Wisconsin, a young lady looked in the glove box of the Acura TL (of which I am currently training), and commented on the gloves that I had in said glove box. They are large, water-repellent, battery-operated, heated ski gloves. My lovely wife gave them to me. For when we go skiing. Which we did last, I believe sometime before Mattea's birth some nine years ago. But I digress.

The young lady said something to the effect of "What, you're coming to the midwest so you thought you needed those?"

Well... yes, actually. When I was in the United States Navy before many of you were born, we referred to such equipment as "foul-weather gear". I didn't have the heart to tell the young lady that 3 degrees fahrenheit is indeed foul weather. And that was the high temperature of the day. (Although... in my defense... I had not put the batteries in the gloves. Yet.)

The Midwest region consists of twelve states: Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota, and Wisconsin. I will make my way to Ohio soon. Ohio is the easternmost state of the region. The distance from Hazelton, Ohio to Atlantic City, New Jersey is 506.231 miles as the crow flies. Give or take a bit. I chose Hazelton, Ohio because it is near the eastern Ohio state line and because just across the state line in Pennsylvania lies Friendsville. How could you not select a town, when offered the opportunity of mentioning Friendsville, Pennsylvania? (Many people refer to state lines as borders. They are not borders. They are state lines. Borders separate countries. And as much as we may wish that Texas were its own country, it still only has state lines shared with the rest of us.)

Now let's go over to the other side of the region. The west end, so to speak. The distance from Henry, Nebraska, hard on the border (I mean, state line) with Wyoming, to Eureka, California is just about 1074.351 miles as the crow flies. As of the 2000 Census, Henry had 63 more citizens living in it than Friendsville did. Just thought I'd share that with you in case you chose not to click on the links that I so carefully provided for you, in order for you to learn more about America's heartland. Ingrate.

And just in case you have not fully developed a picture in your mind of the positioning of the American Midwest, let me provide for you a visual reference (courtesy of Wikipedia, courtesy of somebody else):



So... will somebody tell me, please... why is this called the Midwest? If you were to draw a line directly down the middle of the country and divided it into two pieces, one eastern and one western, every single state in the "midwest" would either be entirely in the eastern half, or have some portion in the eastern half, of the United States. With the possible exception of North Dakota, but nobody really cares about North Dakota anyway. (Although Frances McDormand and William H. Macy were in a wonderful movie about Fargo.)

Yes... these are the things that I think about. I have more to write about this topic. Its corollary, actually. But I imagine that you probably really can't take much more at the moment, so I believe that I'll hold off for a day or so to let you absorb this post. Until then...