This post has no title

Sorry.

As I was riding down the elevator to the business center to write this blog post, I had just read an interview with Paul Simon that had to do with his songwriting. One of the things that he mentioned centered on the idea that when he writes, he has no intention. I liked that idea. I think if you write - music... words... anything... sometimes you are too constricted by intention.

Anyway, as I rode down in the elevator, Elton John's "This Song Has No Title" popped into my head. Not the actual song, because I can't even think of what it sounds like at the moment. Just the title. I am struck by oddities. They stick with me. An old
Cat Stevens album(don't remember which one) where the sides were named this and that. Only side this was the other side, and side that was this side.

I actually did have an intention when I first thought to update my blog, and I'll get 'round to it eventually, but you'll need to put up with my rambling first.

I don't really know why you do that actually. Put up with my rambling, that is. You don't need to be here right now. Think of all of the other things that you could be doing... productive things... fun things... necessary things. Blog reading really is just a diversion, isn't it? Live inside someone else's head for a little while? Why? What's wrong with your head?

If your wondering why my rambling is making very little sense this evening, it may be because I'm tired. I'm in Nashville, where I'll be undergoing training for the launch of the new 2007 Nissan Altima over the course of the next couple of days. I learned a long time ago that when I travel West to East that I need to sleep deprive myself the night before I leave, or I can't sleep at my destination. It makes me even less observant than I typically am. Have I told you that I'm somewhere around 13th percentile in observation skills? I wouldn't be a good detective. You probably didn't even know you could get tested for such things, did you. (I know there's supposed to be a question mark at the end of that last sentence, but it's really a statement, not a question, so I think the period is more appropriate.)(Besides, it's my blog, and I can make up whatever rules I want.)(But, you know, if people just made up their own rules, then you have people walking around saying "Aiiite", when what they really mean is "alright". That bugs me. So I'll try to stick to the rules.)

So I stayed up well past my bedtime last night, and didn't get to bed until past midnight. Generally I go to sleep between ten and eleven. In fact, I went to bed so late that Grayson had already awakened, crying, and wanted to be transported to our bed. Which I did. He woke his brother, but Noah was content to go back to sleep on the floor with his dinosaur, but when I awoke this morning at 5:54 before my alarm went off for my 7:25 flight, both Grayson and Noah were in bed with Theresa and me. (yes, "me" is correct. Not I. Take Theresa out and it's me not I. Put Theresa in and it doesn't become I for no apparent reason. I don't know much about writing, and I learn more every day, but I think I'm reasonably safe on that one...)

Where was I. Oh yeah... sleep deprivation. So I'm functioning on a little over five hours of sleep. Two times zones away from home. Having had a brownie for dinner. So you'll forgive me if I wander.

What I "intentioned", when I first thought of posting, was of my experience this past weekend.

I went parking lot racing for the first time in about a year and a half. It's really called autocross, but many people have never heard of that, but when you say "parking lot racing", it provides a generally more descriptive idea of what one actually does at an autocross. Yes, in my car. (Someone was wondering.)

Why the first time in over a year and a half? The last time was a less than delightful experience. I'd say more, but I don't wish to here. If you want the lurid details, ask and I'd be willing to share. Privately.

I arrived early and helped set things up. My club was putting on the event, which was a practice event, not a competition. Two advantages, as I saw them, were that it was my club sponsoring the event, so I could talk to people I hadn't seen in a while, and it was a practice event, so I could, you know, practice. After all, it had been 18 months or more since my last time.

These practice events are set up in 90 minute segments. Your "run group" runs for 90 minutes, then you go work so that others can run for 90 minutes. The lap time of this particular course was just over 60 seconds for me. But because there were 25 cars in my group, and you only run one lap at a time, I only got to run about eight or nine laps over the 90 minutes. That's just how things work.

My intention (there's that word again), was to run a couple of laps with no intention of speed. Just with the intention of seeing where the course went. (It changes every time.) Now I had walked the course early in the morning, and at the lunch break, so I had a pretty good idea of where it went. And I carefully watched others drive the course (with my 13th percentile observation skills). I even helped carry a go-kart off the course, when it conked out, and the poor young driver had no idea what to do.

My first lap was around 63.2 seconds. We use very sophisticated timing equipment that actually times us to one thousandth of a second (xx.xxx), but I don't remember the specifics at the moment. Now that I'd been around once, I had a more reasonable idea of where the course went.

I was relaxed. I was not trying to drive fast. I just wanted to see how the car felt, and how I felt driving it. My next lap was 62.1. A little over a second improvement. Not bad. I felt that when I started "driving", I could probably turn a sub-60 second lap.

When I started "driving" it took me six or seven more laps just to match the 62.1 again. My first lap after that I slowed to a pace slower than my first lap. I adjusted my lines. I adjusted my shift points. I tried to focus on what I was doing, but going faster eluded me. On my very last lap, around the eight or ninth shot at the course, I was able to get down to a 61.3.

I thought about that a lot the rest of the day. A similar experience had happened before. In fact a couple of times. Once, a friend let me drive his Corvette. It had much more power than the 240Z that I had at the time. I respected the power and just cruised around. I beat the owner by several seconds. I wondered what would have happened had I "tried". With experience that I've gained since, I probably would have gone slower.

My point? Sometimes, when we try, we try too hard, and our results are less satisfying, and less rewarding, than when we just relax and have fun. I've seen it in driving. I've experienced it in my writing. I'm pretty sure it happens in all aspects of our lives, it's just that we're not relaxed enough to observe it.

So you see, even though 87% of the population is more observant than I am, I can still come up with the occasional something or other. I can't think of a good word at the moment. It's 11:20PM in Nashville now, which is only 9:20 at home, but remember, I'm working on much less sleep than normal. Let me know if you think of a good word that would have been appropriate. Leave it in a comment. Who know's... maybe I'll edit it, with your word, and you'll be famous. (In my world, anyway.) G'Night